Kiddos

Sam is fun because he is SO ticklish, which neither of the girls were. He is also trying to roll over already, which will probably be easier for him, because he is a skinny guy. He looks big, but it's just because he has a huge noggin. He was laughing a ton the other night, and I have a video but I can't get it to upload. Darn, that was kind of the point of this post. Oh well.

Vivian has started climbing, and she is an absolute danger to herself! She keeps me on my toes. She has also started to fold her arms when we say prayers. It is adorable. And she finally seems to have caught on to sign language! She signs more all the time, and now the problem is that I'm not sure what she wants more of.

Grace is hilarious as her language skills keep improving. One of her new phrases is, "What a shucks." She mostly says it when you give her a compliment. She also makes up her own little songs and sings them to herself. The other day she was singing "I spilled my milk, and now my mom is cleaning it up for me." Well, she got to join me in cleaning it up after that! And then one day we were riding in the car, and from the back we hear a song about Shamu and dolphins helping baby Jesus, who wants us to be nice. I wish I could remember the exact words, it was so funny.

Life is good

I am really enjoying being a mom of 3. Much more than I thought I would. That sounds horrible to say, but honestly, I was scared to death. Luckily my kids are amazing, which makes my job so much easier! Sam is pretty darn nearly perfect, which is also kind of scary to me, because it makes me wonder if something is going to go wrong. Does that make sense? He is saying "hi" already, I swear. The pediatrician even heard it. He talks up a storm.

I love the place my life is at right now. I wouldn't have asked for kids this close in age, and there are certainly times when it makes things logistically complicated. But I love watching them together, and I feel like they will be good friends. They seem to really love each other already. Vivian is so sweet with Sam, it is adorable. She gently bumps her little head against his and kind of rubs it around. She follows Grace around and tries to copy things she does. And Grace, well, she is learning to be much more gentle with her little sibs. She is just so enthusiastic, and she REALLY wants to be able to carry them around.

Maybe it's just getting the pregnancy hormones out of my system, or maybe it's that being in the hospital gave me a subconscious new outlook on life. But I feel like I appreciate the kids a lot more now, and I want to enjoy them while they're young. I thought I did before, but it just feels different lately somehow. I am so grateful for my good life!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

I have been back home for a week now, and it has not been as bad as I feared :) The kids have not yet eaten me alive. Although I did go to church without a shower today, ewww! It's those kind of things that fall through the cracks... It has been so nice to be home, to feel better, and to start getting back to normal. Utah was great, and my in-laws were just wonderful! I was so glad that we were there while I finished recovering. But it had been 2 months since I had been "in charge" of my own life, and it is nice to be able to do things for myself again. And of course it is fantastic to be with Rob! The girls are getting back into their routines again, which is good. Their lives have been a little topsy-turvy, and Grace especially was just not herself while we were gone. I am relieved that she has gotten back to normal. I am afraid blogging is also going to slip through the cracks, but I will try to post every now and then.

Tooting my own horn

Ha ha ha, I've had a photo published! It is so totally random, I have to laugh. It's an old pic, and they totally cropped out Grace. But it's definitely her chubby little hands :) I took this picture a day or so after I got my new camera, when I was just taking pics of anything and everything. The website found it on Flickr, and since I didn't copyright it, all I get out of it is my name underneath. And the chance to toot my own horn on my blog!
http://www.parenting.com/activity-parties-gallery/Activities-Parties/
Play-List-Quick-and-Easy-Activities/5

All about Sam

Little Sam is 6 weeks old already, and I think it's time I introduced him properly! Sam is the most amazing baby. Possibly our easiest baby yet, which is saying something, because Grace and Viv were both pretty easy. Don't hate us :) I think this is definitely an example of God's mercy! How would we have done all this with a colicky baby???

Sam is a super eater and falls asleep without too much work most of the time. He is growing like gangbusters. I don't know how much he weighs, but he is about to grow out of his 3 month clothes. Sam was bottle fed most of the time I was in the hospital, but once I tried nursing him again, he picked it back up immediately, and now he is an expert at going back and forth. He is a champ. Sam is also snuggly, which is irresistible. AND he doesn't spit up when he's being burped. I love that. But then, he occasionally--without warning--spits up what seems to be the entire contents of his stomach, which is kind of a mess.

My favorite thing about Sam is his eyes. They are so alert and seem so intelligent somehow. Like he is wise beyond his weeks. He will stare into your eyes and move his mouth like he is trying so hard to communicate. He is really a joy, and we are so glad he's part of our family!

Coming to you live from Provo

The biggest problem as a result of all this craziness is that I am under a lifting restriction for 6 weeks. Which means that I can't lift anything heavier than Sam until mid-November. This is a serious problem because Viv wants to be carried around all the time, and sometimes she needs to get in and out of her crib. Or get her diaper changed. Or she has to be rescued from nearly falling down the stairs. Or she bites her tongue and bleeds all over. I can drive now that I'm mostly off my narcotics, but I can't get her in or out of the car. Basically, I need someone around all the time in case poor Viv needs something. Plus I am still moving pretty slowly and have basically just been taking care of Sam but haven't managed to make meals or clean the house or do much taking care of the girls.

Two days before Rob's mom was scheduled to leave, we sat down to figure out how much help we would need and who we could ask. I was freaking out a little at the prospect of being alone all day with all 3 kids. Finally the answer hit us--I could go to Utah and stay with Rob's family until mid-November. (My mom works so staying with my fam wouldn't help me during the day....) And, Rob's family generously agreed to take me and the kids in. So after 2 days of frantic packing, my brave MIL and I got on a plane with the 3 kids, 4 diaper bags, 2 car seats, 2 extra carryons, 1 big stroller, and lots of help from the guy pushing me in the wheelchair. We actually wheeled a luggage cart ONTO the airplane. I've never seen anyone do that before :) It was a long, tiring day, but we made it safe and sound! It will be hard to be away from Rob and from home for so long, but it felt like the right decision, and a huge relief. So if you're in UT and feel like lunch at Cafe Rio, I'm available any time! But you might have to help me get the kids out of the car :)

My Everything

A quick update before I get to what I want to say. I came home from the hospital on Friday, yay! It has been wonderful to be home, and also challenging. It is a lot harder to get to the computer than I thought it would be! I am getting stronger and less sore every day. I have a new appreciation for the little things the kids do that are so adorable. I didn't realize how much I missed them. My mom is here, and she is soooo much help. I quite literally could not do this without her! So many people have been so helpful, thoughtful, and wonderful--family, friends, Rob's co-workers, people at Grace's preschool, and of course the ward. We are so, so blessed.

I have finally taken some more pictures and hopefully I will get them up on the Flickr site soon.


Which brings me to the most wonderful person of all, Rob. I have been through a lot physically the last few weeks, but Rob has had the harder job. As I try to list all the things he has done, it just doesn't do him credit. He has taken care of everything so that I would not have to worry at all. Every night that he possibly could, he brought Sammy and stayed with me at the hospital, then took care of all of the midnight feedings. That, in addition to being there as long as he could every day and doing anything for me that I couldn't do for myself. Then he would go home and take care of the girls. He kept the medical people on their toes and asked all the questions I didn't even know enough to ask. He gave me a number of blessings which brought me so much comfort and peace. He has been my emotional rock and has bolstered my faith. He has been Superdad. He brought food from the cafeteria when the hospital food was just too gross :) He nagged me to do all the annoying things they tell you to do so you won't get pneumonia or a DVT while you're in the hospital. He has told me all the way through that I am beautiful, even when I was completely distended and greasy-haired and had tubes coming out my nose. And he's never complained.

I know the problem with lists is that I've surely forgetten something huge. But I want to tell Rob how much I appreciate all the sacrifices he has made and continues to make. This may be corny, but some lines from this poem have been in my head when I've thought about Rob. The poem is Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden, and even though it is a poem of mourning, to me it's about the depth of love. (I took some liberties with the tense and with the last line...)

He is my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought I knew how much I loved him: I was wrong.

Thank you, Rob, for being my everything.

Update

A quick update. As long as nothing drastic happens overnight, I should be able to go home tomorrow. I hesitate to say this for fear of jinxing myself, but that is the plan!

Second, this is how I look, particularly in the abdomen. At least this is how I feel like I look :)

Nectar from Heaven

Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughts! I can feel them, and I am feeling much stronger and ready to recover!

Since I got readmitted about 10 days ago, I have basically been forbidden from putting anything in my mouth. No food, no liquid, not even ice chips. It was pretty torturous, especially because I'm also kind of dehydrated. My mouth has been parched!

This morning, I was allowed to go onto "sips" of liquid.

I was sitting looking out the big, sunny window, holding Sam and having a nice conversation with Rob, and I took a drink of apple juice. It was so sweet, and it kind of slowly made its way through my dry mouth, waking up my tastebuds. Suddenly I was crying--I just tasted a little nectar from heaven.

Land of not what I expected: delux tour

Hi everyone,

This is actually Rob posting for Julie--so the writing won't be quite as good as you normally expect. Since she posted last Julie's been stuck in the hospital, just waiting for her ileus to resolve. Then yesterday she developed a fever, and her White Blood Cell Count and heart rate both went sky high. The surgery team decided she needs exploratory surgery to make sure there wasn't any sort of injury from the C-section that they were missing on the CT scans.

In the OR they found a large hole in her cecum (the first portion of her large intestine). The contents of her GI tract had been draining through that hole into her abdomen for the last 8 days so it was full of all sorts of nasty stuff, which explains why she had such a bad ileus. They cut out a small section of her bowel reconnected the rest of it, and washed everything out really well. She's in the SICU now on very high powered antibiotics, so that they can make sure the bacteria from her belly doesn't get into her blood stream.

She's doing well and they hope that she'll be ready to leave the SICU tomorrow. She actually looks better now than she did before surgery. Her sense of humor is back, which is good. Her assessment of the situation after she came out of surgery last night--"so that was my problem, I was full of poop......"

We're grateful for the dedication of the nurses and the doctors currently taking care of her. We are also incredibly grateful for the love, concern and support we get from all of you.

Dispatches from the land of "Not What I Expected"

Last week, I thought that today I would be sending the kids to church with Rob so that me and Sammy could stay home and rest. I was looking forward to a nice day home with the family.

But that was not meant to be.

I have spent the day in my lovely hospital room with a tube in my nose draining the contents of my stomach and intestines. I'm hooked up to my best friend, the IV, which loads me up with sugar water, pain meds and anti-nausea meds.

For some reason, abdominal surgery just doesn't agree with my body. The day after surgery, my belly filled with air so that I still look 9 months pregnant (though Rob tries to assure me it's more like 5). I was still functioning fine, so they sent me home, and that night I started getting sick. I was sick all the next day, and finally called the doc. They told me to come back to the hospital, so here I am. They say I am a medical mystery. There doesn't seem to be a reason for all the air, and nothing seems to make it better or worse, it just stays the same. I also have an illius, which means my bowels are still trying to wake up, which is why they are now draining through my nose. Lovely image, I know. It is a bit unpleasant, to say the least.

So, again, dear friends, I ask if you would say a little prayer if you think about it--that I could get better and go home! Thanks for all your support, I have loved getting your comments. Hopefully I will be back to posting pictures and fun updates soon!

Pictures!

Sam! Isn't he handsome? It's doing that crazy rotating thing. Sorry. I've learned the only way to fix it is start over, and I'm too tired :)

So far the consensus is that Sam looks like his Daddy.

The most totally unflattering picture of both of us, but what can you do?

More to come later. Right now, I'm off to bed.

Bert's here!

And he does have a name! Well, we're 99% set on the name :) We've dubbed him Samuel Robert. Sammy for now.

Sorry, we forgot the camera cord, but I'll try to get some pictures up tomorrow cuz that's all that matters, right! He is a cutie--red hair, big round cheeks, beautiful skin. He measures in at a whopping 9 lbs, 1 oz and 21 inches. He looks kind of like a 3-wk old :) He was born at 3:40 am Monday morning by emergency section.

And now, time for Too Much Information again! If you don't want the gory details, stop now and go to the "Horror Stories" post, and take about half of my worst expectations and add a little drama, and that's basically it. Which sounds bad, but surprisingly, wasn't actually that bad at the time.

I'll try to keep this brief, kudos to you if you make it through the whole story!

So, I woke up at 4 am Sunday having some contractions that didn't just feel like Braxton-Hicks. I thought, "Today's the day!" Throughout the day Sunday, I had contractions sporadically, some really intense, others, not really. They weren't happening all that often, mostly 10-20 minutes apart. Finally we decided to take the girls to stay with our wonderful friends for the night, hoping we'd end up at the hospital. Around 10:30, contractions got a little more regular and more intense. At 11:30, we went to the hospital even though I wasn't sure it was really time. By midnight, the triage nurse informed me I was dilated to a 7. This surprised everyone, because I wasn't in that much pain. They took me back to the delivery room, and the nurse convinced me that if I had made it to this point so easily, I did not need an epidural. She said I had reached the peak of the pain, and the pain of pushing is different and isn't really numbed by the epidural, and that I'd push a lot more efficiently without it. So I decided to see if I could do it. Go me.

The doc came and broke my water, which had mecomium, so that was some cause for concern. The nurse was like, "you kind of seem like you're having back labor." And she was right, my back did hurt. She was an awesome nurse, and she did the counter-pressure thing for me and really helped me through the contractions. I went on like that for a couple of hours, at one point the baby's heart rate dipped, but changing my position brought it back up. Then suddenly my uterus went berzerk. I started having off the chart contractions one on top of the other. Um, ouch. Baby's heart dipped again. Changed position, got a shot to relax the uterus, and it went back up. I asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist took FOREVER to get to my room, and the contractions didn't relent the whole time. Ouch. Thought I was going to die. Finally got the epidural and started to feel I could relax, when baby's heart dipped yet again, and my own heartrate went sky-high. Next thing I knew, I was being whisked off to the operating room, on my hands and knees on the bed since that was the position that kept his heart rate up. When we got in there, his heart had dipped again, and words like "Stat" and "crash" were being thrown around which scared me a bit. By the time they let Rob in, they had already sliced down to my uterus--I thought he was going to miss the whole thing. But, out came the baby, and he went straight to the NICU team for evaluation to see if he had breathed in any meconium. Just as they were about to intubate him, he started to cry, thank goodness. Whew. End of drama.

The pediatrician kept a close eye on him for the morning, and he was fine. I got sewed up and drugged up, and I'm fine, too! Once the baby came out, the OB saw the size of his head and his general hugeness, and said she didn't think he would have made it out any other way than a c-section. So, even though things were a little scary, I actually felt very calm throughout, and I'm glad that I didn't have to push and push for hours before we figured out that he was just not going to make it out. AND, he had been completely face-up, so it was full-on back labor, and that would have made pushing harder.

I am so very grateful to have a healthy, beautiful baby boy! We are so blessed!

Pretty please

Okay, I'm begging for mercy here. Bert needs to come today or tomorrow, or Rob will be into his vacation days, and he'll probably just lose his paternity days. And days off are awfully hard to get around here, so we would like to maximize them. So if it crosses your mind, could you please say a little prayer that Bert will be born? Many thanks in advance :) For my part, I plan to go to the park and walk around and around until labor starts or I collapse. Then if that doesn't work, I'll go buy a knitting needle and break my own water!

The state of Bert

In case anyone is wondering, Bert is still cozied up in the womb. I actually got a good night's sleep last night and feel better today than I have in a while, so I don't think he's on his way out anytime soon. I have come to grips with him sticking around in there, I'm not as desperate as I was to get him out. We'll see what happens.

World's Worst Gardener

This summer I didn't try to go all out on a garden. I just wanted a few tomatoes, and for the first time ever I planted zucchini. I was traumatized by all the zucchini I had to eat as a child, and have never wanted any of my own, but this summer it just sounded good. Must be the weird hormones. Plus, I thought it would give me an ego boost to have a plant overflowing with vegetables. But apparently, I cannot grow even zucchini. I get tons of big, beautiful flowers that shrivel up and fall off before they turn into anything.

Finally, I found this buried in the leaves:

Rob says I should have titled this post "When Urologists grow zucchini". Ha ha.

So far, I made a loaf of zucchini bread, which used about 1/8th of this monster. And we ate the whole thing in one day. And Grace calls it "bikini bread." So I guess I'll try to make a couple more loaves, and then I think my hankering for zucchini will be about done. So I guess it's alright that I'm the world's worst gardener :)

An unsolicited plug

I just had the carpets cleaned, and the guys who did it were great. Polite, helpful, quick--they rounded DOWN when they charged me, and spot-cleaned the whole back of the couch which was recently "decorated" with red crayon by someone in our house (no names, here) for free. They listened to Grace tell them all about her baby brudder and her new curtains. So if you're thinking of getting your carpet done, I will give you their name!

Memo to Bert

Dear Bert,
I know I've been sending you "stay in there" vibes for the last 9 months. But I've had a change of heart. Please come out now. You are enormous, and therefore, so am I. You "dropped", which was nice, but now you have filled up all that extra space and your feet are clear above my ribcage. If you stay in there much longer, you will be kicking me in the chin.

I don't know if this is completely your fault, but my kankles have progressed to full-on walrus feet, and I can't even wear my flip-flops anymore. Well, I do wear them because I can't go barefoot to the store, but when I take them off, there are big flip-flop shaped dents in my feet. What with the walrus feet and the attractive waddling, I hope I don't get put in the zoo. Also my hands are so swollen I can't straighten my fingers and they are all numb.

I know my hormones won't be back to normal for a while, but I think hormones plus discomfort plus fear have turned me into an unpredictable volcano. Your sister Grace will especially like having her mother back. That poor girl bears the brunt of Mount Mama's explosions. Plus she is really excited to meet you. If you come out soon, I will promise not to let her name you (how's that for motivation?). Otherwise, you might be named George, Scooby Doo, Gigham, or some other string of sounds that I can't reproduce. Lucky for you she has given up on the name Ian.

So, please Bert, make your grand entrance (or is that an exit?) and make it soon!

Love,
Mount Mama

Happy First Birthday to Vivian!

It is SO hard to believe it has been a year since Viv was born! Everything happened so fast with her--we found out her birthmother chose us just a few months after we put our papers in, then her due date was in just 3 weeks, and she was born a week early! We got home from church that Sunday and had a bunch of messages that she had been born that morning, so we quickly packed up our bags and left for Kentucky early Monday morning. It was all very exciting and whirlwindy.

The rest of the year has kind of been whirlwindy, too :) But Viv has been the sweetest baby ever, and it has been a joy getting to know her over this year. We have really been able to watch her personality emerge, and she gets more fun every day. Viv just adores Grace, and it is so great to watch them starting to play together. We feel so blessed to be Vivian's parents!

Stranger Danger

When Grace was a baby, we got stopped by a lot of people who want to look at babies and tell you how cute they are. I was SO proud to show her off, and loved the attention. Especially when she was really tiny and then people would tell me how great I looked :) (I just said thanks...) But as she got older, that tapered off. With Vivian's amazing hair, she seems to be getting us stopped more often as she gets older. Seriously, if I go grocery shopping in the morning when all the grandmas are out, it can add an extra half hour to the trip. Some people want to tell you about all their red-headed relatives. Some people want to know where the red hair came from (I always just say "her dad". Strangers don't need to know my reproductive history.) Lots of people tell me that their hair used to be that color. One lady told me that I had her baby. I said, "Oh, did you have one that looked like this?" She responded that no, she had prayed for 3 red-headed boys and got 3 blond girls. Well, so I got half her baby.

And now that I have red-headed Vivian and "look like I'm about to explode," I'm getting all kinds of comments. A lot of times, people see Viv first, then notice my belly and just kind of go "Oh! And another one on the way!" The other day, 2 people within 30 minutes asked me if "I'm done having kids after this." I just say "we'll see," while thinking "none of your darn business." One day, Rob was with me and a lady gave him the crude wink and told him "way to go, Dad."

Forgive me if I seem rude, cynical, and anti-social. I am grateful I really haven't had my stomach grabbed by any strangers... probably because Viv is usually on top of it :) I'm going to blame my attitude on the hormones!

Happy Anniversary (belated...)

You might not have noticed that I am special-daytarded. Can I blame it on pregnancy? My brain isn't working quite right because all the blood is flowing to the baby?

Anyway, I am so lucky to be married to Rob, and 9 years have flown by! I thought I'd copy the fun number game I've seen other people do...

1 pregnancy

2 trips to Europe

3 kids (almost)

4 years in a trailer in Iowa

5 trips to Hawaii

we'll spend 6 years in Michigan

I'm glad it's not 7 :)

8 months from our first date to our wedding

9 fantastic years together

I love you dear!!!!

Horror stories wanted

This summer a bunch of friends have been having babies and sending out pictures. I have been alarmed to notice that immediately after giving birth, they are holding full-grown human babies. I am getting freaked out by the prospect of pushing my own full-grown baby out of what I can't help but notice is a fairly small opening in my body. I have never been in excruciating pain, even for a few minutes, and I'm not sure I'm ready for hours/days of it. In fact, I hear that Braxton-Hicks contractions aren't painful, but I kind of stop and go "ouch", so apparently I am a BIG WIMP, and that kind of worries me.

I took a childbirth class, and it actually made me more confused about how I want to give birth. Basically, what I got out of it was this:

• moan/grunt primally
• just tell yourself you can do it
• your body knows what it's doing
• giving birth laying on your back in a bed with lots of wires and tubes going in and out of you is the worst possible position
• vaccines and circumcision are evil

And we watched a couple of disturbing videos.

I have never felt the need to have an unmedicated birth, but actually some of what they were saying made sense. Something about letting my body do its thing, about being able to get up and move, and lie in a tub or do what feels best was appealing. I don't really like the idea of being stuck in a bed with a huge needle in my spine. But I have a feeling that you really have to be 100%, fully and totally committed to unmedicated birth to not end up having an epidural. And I am not 100% committed. So, here is the big question: If I am pretty sure that I will end up having an epidural anyway, is there any point to trying to hold out for a while without?

I have also heard that you shouldn't listen to other people's horror stories, but I want to be prepared for the worst. So far, I am expecting to be a week overdue, to be in labor for 3 days, then push for 6 hours, only to find out that this baby inherited Rob's gargantuan cranium and it can't even be vacuumed out, so they will have to slice me open and pull him all the way back out the other way. And I hear back labor is bad, so I'm expecting that, too. Oh, and horrible tears in all directions, and black eyes from pushing so hard.

So please send your wisdom, advice, and horror stories to help me as I wander into this great unknown!

Viv's sealing

This post is a week late, but Rob and I were sealed to Vivian last Saturday in the Detroit temple! It was an exciting and busy weekend as all of our families came to town. We were so glad everyone (almost) could make it! We know it was a sacrifice for people to make the quick trip. On Sunday we blessed Viv, and Rob's brother Jared blessed their new baby, Tanner. So it was wonderful that Rob's whole family could be there for both of those blessings.

It was wonderful to be in the temple, and it was so amazing to be there with Grace and Vivian! I've said it before, but I really feel lucky that we have been able to actually physically go with the girls to be sealed, and not just have them "born in the covenant." Being in the temple with them is a great experience. I will kind of miss that with this upcoming baby. Grace did really well with being reverent while she was in the temple. Vivian did not like having to hold still during the ceremony! But it was still great to be there together and to know that our family is forever. I had been kind of stressed out right until we got to the temple, but once we got inside, my perspective came back and a wonderful calm came over me :) That's one reason why I love the temple.

Vivian's blessing was beautiful. I love that Rob is so in tune with the Spirit, I always feel like what he says is really what Heavenly Father wants said. She was blessed with a bright and shining testimony, which I loved. I feel like if she has that, everything else in her life will fall into place. And then she was blessed to be a good influence on her "brothers and sister" which completely threw me for a loop and I don't remember anything else after that :)

Third trimester

When other people are pregnant, I always feel like they are prego forever. I'm one of those annoying people who are like, "When are you due again?" When what I really mean is, "Haven't you had that kid yet, you've been pregnant forever?" But my own pregnancy has gone SO fast. I still haven't wrapped my head around it yet, and I am starting to feel like I'm not prepared for a baby. I mean, psychologically I don't think I will be until it happens. But physically, I haven't done much of anything. We have a crib (thanks to Naomi!) but I haven't done much else. Finally took a childbirth class, but haven't done the hospital tour. All that jazz.

I am starting to feel very third-trimester-ish, though. You know, big as a house, swollen everywhere. This child is apparently getting ready for the Olympic gymnastics try-outs in my abdomen and when I bend over, he lets me know he is squished by kicking me in the ribs. This is really the biggest challenge, because with Viv around, I have to bend over a lot. Also, carrying her and Bert around gets really tiring. In general, everything is tiring. I feel exhausted most of the time. Just getting the girls dressed leaves me feeling ready for a nap. The other day I had to go downstairs for something and I nearly started to cry. I know that sounds insane. And actually the most tiring part of the week is going to church. At home, Viv can crawl wherever and it's fine. At church, I have to keep her squirmy self entertained, which means lots of down and up, and pulling her out of other people's diaper bags, and picking up a million cheerios and dropped toys, etc. off the floor. And I really can't bend over from a sitting position without spreading my legs all the way out to make room for my stomach. In a skirt, this does not work. So I have to get all the way up, try to gracefully squat between benches, then haul myself off the floor, sometimes while also holding a 20-lb. baby. It's just a spectacle, I'm sure.

Alright, this is getting really boring! Bottom line is: the next 2 months will be a challenge. But I'm up for it.

Also, I have a goal to get a picture of my large self on a day when I've combed my hair and put on makeup :) But for now, I toss my pride to the wind and post this lovely picture, taken with the timer and the camera propped between a couple of paint cans!

Turns out we're cool

I just want to point out that we picked the name Vivian BEFORE Brad and Angelina. We didn't use the fancy French spelling, but hey, we are still cool :) Trendsetters, even. And I'm sure that Vivian is way cuter than their kid.

Ramblings

Today I saw a scooter parked on the side of the road, and it transported me back in time. I could feel the sun on my arms and wind in my hair. It was amazing how vividly physical it was, especially considering that it's been 10 years since I rode a scooter! And it wasn't even my scooter, a kind friend loaned it to me until I could buy a car. I hadn't thought about that friend for a long time....

I am not one to live in the past at all. Maybe because I am living the life I always wanted. Some days I wonder why I wanted it :) Things haven' turned out the way I expected and it is not perfect or without challenges. But I have 2 great kids and a wonderful husband. I get to stay at home with them and watch them grow every day. I have everything I need, and lots of things that I want. We have hope for a good future.

I have lots of good memories. Most of them are simple, like the feel of the sun on my arms. My life has not been in any way remarkable, but I think I've muddled through okay. I have definitely come a long way, and I still have a long way to go to becoming the kind of person I would like to be. I'm content with my life.

Another reason I'm a fuddy-duddy

I've been looking for a dresser on Craigslist. Today, in response to my inquiry, I got this email:

Picking It up Saturday Would B Fine But I Would Need It Paid 4 2day 2 hold it.

I'm so annoyed by this ridiculous response that I don't think I'll buy the darn dresser. How much longer does it take to type "today" than "2day"????

Happy Belated Birthday to Rob

What better time than the day after Rob's birthday to talk about how great he is? Rob is absolutely the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and I am still not sure how I got so lucky that he wanted to spend forever with me. He is the most conscientious, kind, and hard-working person I know. Also the smartest.

Just for example, Rob was training a new intern last week, and he had his "power weekend", which means he was on call Friday, Saturday and Sunday, plus he had been on call every other night for the last 2 weeks. He was pretty exhausted. He could have made his intern take as much of the call as he wanted, as a "learning experience", but he only gave him Sunday. Some of the other residents asked why he hadn't given him the whole weekend (and I kind of wondered the same thing....) but Rob just felt that it would be too cruel. I admire that he does what he feels is the right thing, even if it isn't the easiest path. This last year has been pretty grueling for him, but he has stuck to his values in an environment where they are not the norm. Although (those of you who know Rob will find this funny) he did drop the F-bomb once :) Accidentally, of course!

Also, Rob spent his vacation week stuck in what will soon be Grace's room, pulling off wallpaper and then reconstructing the walls so that we could paint. This was certainly not his first choice of ways to spend that time, but it needed to be done and that was the only time that was available. So he made the sacrifice and did it.

I am grateful for Rob, and the way he tries his best to put his family first and to leave work behind and just be with us when he can. He's the greatest husband any woman could wish for! Happy Birthday, dear!

Icky week

If you have a weak stomach, or are just sick of me providing too much information, please stop reading now. I know I have got to stop posting about bodily functions and other gross things. But someday, when the kids are all grown up, won't I want to remember times like this? Won't I look back and miss these days? Maybe not.....
We have been hit with our second round of stomach flu this year--my least favorite thing in the whole wide world. Thank goodness only one vomit per child, but that is more than enough. Now, if this is too disgusting, please tell me and I will delete it..... but I find it kind of funny, and very telling about Grace. I actually thought that she had made it through without any yakking, but when I went to get a pot out of the cupboard today, there was a strange kind of liquid on the bottom. I was looking and looking at it, trying to figure out where on earth it had come from and said out loud, "What is this???" Grace was at the table, and helpfully answered, "I spit up, I was looking for a bowl." Alrighty, then. Guess it didn't bother her too much.
Another highlight was the evening that Vivian had her "monkey" moment in the crib. All I will say is this: I walked in the room, and there was Viv, clinging to the side of the crib wailing, and for some reason one cheek was brown (along with the sheets, crib rails, bumpers, etc.). Heaven help me.
And, to top it all off, today my toenail fell off, which totally grosses me out. Pulling off your own toenail is as bad as having to pull a loose tooth. ICK!

Random Factoids

Today, a bunch of random things the kids do that I am sure I will forget soon:

• Grace loves to dance in front of the TV, where she can see herself like in the mirror


• Right now she is really into Laurie Berkner, and that is how we motivate her to get into her carseat quickly


• Viv also likes to dance, she tucks her chin into her chest and bops


• Viv loves to crawl over to the powerstrip and unplug the modem


• Viv seems to like to sleep with her face buried in the mattress


• This morning, out of the blue, Grace started theatrically grabbing her arm saying, "My elbow is freaking, my elbow is freaking! My arm aches, my arm aches!" Then she collapsed into a chair, saying, "I'm going to died!" She is still alive and her arm seems fine!


• Grace LOVES berries. Eating them, picking them, reading books about them. Right now her 2 favorites are Jamberry and Berry Magic. And she just found a movie where Max and Ruby go pick berries--heaven.


• Grace doesn't like me to sing along with her music.


• Viv claps by slapping her tummy.


• Grace recently had a potty training relapse, and the way she got back on track was by having Rob bring home and orange for her each day she kept her panties dry. Who knew the motivation she needed was an orange????


• Grace's "dot blanklie" is apparently a girl. She has started referring to it as "her."


• Viv likes to pull things over her face, then she has a spaz until she pulls it off and you say "Peekaboo." This is one of the few things that makes her laugh.


• Viv crawls by pushing off on one leg, while the other stays still, kind of like she's on a scooter.


• Grace can't wait for Christmas. She asks almost every day when Santa is coming. She also likes to play trick or treat.


• Viv has quick hands. We have to keep the baby food far away from her! She figured out the whole pincer grasp in about 2 days, and she has already figured out how to undo the latch on Homer's crate (that might have just been luck).

Little foodie

Today's quote from Grace. It's actually more like another monologue. All given while pulling leaves off various plants in the little garden and placing them in a little pot.

"Now, we're going to use some scallions. If you don't have any scallions, you can use glitter. Next we'll put in some parsley. If you don't have any parsley, you can use tomato sauce or whatever else you have at your house."

I remember when I was little I read all the "Little House on the Prairie" books. At night, I would lay in bed pretending to write up my day like Laura Ingalls Wilder. I guess now everyone does that--we just call it blogging :) But I think Grace pictures herself as the host of a TV show. As long as she sticks with the Food network, I'm okay with that!

I didn't get a picture of the cooking show, but here is a totally unrelated picture that Grace took a couple of days ago. I like it.

Body parts are dropping like flies

First to go was my waist, of course. But it has been reincarnated as a huge, pulsating mass around my middle, which I am pretty much obsessed with. I don't even notice how my face looks any more because any time I'm in front of the mirror, I'm staring at my belly. This is good, because the next to bite the bullet was my chin. Actually, it's now more like 3 chins, directly connecting my jaw to my ribs. So I'd rather pretend they aren't there. And, now that it's hot out, my ankles have bought the farm. I really miss them. And finally, my belly button is circling the drain. I guess I won't miss it too much, but I had gotten used to having it around. Sayonara, old buddy. Sayonara.

It must be done

But for months I have not been able to bring myself to do it. Two things, actually. We need to get rid of the cable (and therefore all TV) and we need to find a new home for Homer.

I don't think I watch that much TV, and especially now that it's summer there isn't much I'm interested in. But it's just knowing that I could sit down and watch if I wanted to. Veg for a while. I know, I know, I should read a book instead. Or just go to bed early. Or play Boggle with Rob. Millions of things to do instead of watching TV. But sadly it is hard to let go of. It is just so easy to sit down and flip a switch.

And then there's the really hard one: Homer. We have had Homer for almost 7 years. Homer brought me some emotional stability through the years when I wanted a baby so badly that I was really pretty crazy. It was Rob's idea to get a dog, and according to him it was pure revelation. I totally believe that. I just can't explain how having him around helped me.

But things change, and now I find myself annoyed with him pretty much any time he isn't asleep. He just adds a little too much chaos to life, and with little Bert on the way, it's more chaos than I'm prepared to handle. The hardest part is going to be breaking the news to Grace, and helping her say goodbye. I tear up just thinking about it, or maybe it's because I'm thinking about me saying goodbye. The other day she said to him, "You're my best friend forever." Granted, pretty much everyone is her best friend right now. I'm sure she'll recover quickly, but I just dread that moment of watching him walk away with another family. Some days I think we could make it work, that we should make it work. But we think it would be better to have him gone before the baby gets here. This is for the best, right?

So, if you know anyone who might want to provide a good home for a beagle who is really a good dog, send them our way.

This time of year

This time of year is kind of sad when you live in a ward full of students. We are losing a few good friends this year, and I am going to miss them!!! But of course, we are happy for them to be moving onward and upward. And it is a nice reminder that someday we will be moving on, too :) There have been weeks, especially in the dead of this dreary MI winter, when it has felt like time is standing still and that residency will go on forever. But Spring brings evidence that people finish and go on with life, and we are starting to feel like we can say "We made it through 2nd year!" Hooray!

Rob gets to say "I told you so"

For the last few months, every time I look in the mirror and Rob is home, I whine to him about how awful my skin is. It is zitty, wrinkly, and bumpy. Just all around bad. I complain for the millionth time that he should have gone into Dermatology. And Rob tells me the problem is that I use too many products.

This is my usual "beauty" routine, which I don't think is that over the top:

• Morning: blackhead-clearing scrub, moisturizer with SPF
• Night: Make-up remover, anti-acne soap, anti-acne astringent, super duper wrinkle free night-time moisturizer, and some Clearasil on the worst spots

He goes on to (self-righteously?) epxlain that he only washes his face once a day with Dove soap, and that's what I should do too. And I roll my eyes.

So finally, mostly just to prove to him how very right I am, I agreed to try it for a week. I was sure I would look like this, and it would serve him right to have to look at me:

So, for one week my "beauty" routine has been this:

• Morning: moisturizer with SPF (and sometimes I splash my face with water first)
• Night: Dove soap and makeup remover

The week is over, and guess what? I think my face actually looks better. Not perfect, but better. Certainly not like Miss Stain-on-her-shirt there. I'm amazed! And I'm publicly admitting, yes Rob, you were right.

This is great--it's saving me time and money. But I'm not throwing out all my "products" yet, just in case :)

A real person

Grace drew her first picture of a person. It is classic!

The eyes didn't scan in very well, but they are there. And that lump under the head? A bottom. Now that Grace is doing pretty well at using the toilet, maybe we should stop talking about these things quite so much.

It's a.....

After this last preisthood session at conference, Rob came home and declared that we need to have 3 boys so that he can go to Preisthood with them. It looks like we are going to be a third of the way there :) We are thrilled! Little Bert gave us a pretty clear view, so it seems pretty certain. Wow! We also saw him yawn, wave, and stretch. He appears to have all his limbs, etc., but we will get the official report next week. It is still kind of hard to believe there is another person inside my belly. This made it seem much more real. Frankly, I am scared of little boys, having never spent more than a couple of hours with any of them. It's hard to imagine myself as a mom of a boy right now--I know nothing about sports, tractors, or any other boy stuff! But we were kind of hoping for a boy (thinking ahead to the teenage years...) so we are excited!

Now that we know the gender and have some pictures, we decided to tell Grace that there is a baby in my tummy. I was nervous that she would be all confused, but she was very excited! She made her adorable excited/surprised face, with her eyes and mouth wide open. Then when we told her she could talk to the baby in there, she loved it. She started peering into my belly button and said she could see him in there. Now she can't wait for him to pop out! She keeps asking when he's coming. She talks to my stomach all the time now, and it even gets some kisses. It is the sweetest thing ever.

Breakthrough!

I think we might finally be getting somewhere on the potty training! Grace and I have both apparently reached our "zen" place, and Grace is kind of taking over and figuring it out. We dropped all the stickers, all the treats, all the timers, and just went for basics. Grace, in panties, free to roam. Oh, and the promise of pizza for dinner once she got her poop in the potty :) Well tonight we are having pizza!!! She just went and did it, on her own, no sitting on the potty for 45 minutes reading books or watching potty training videos. I was blown away! I am so proud of her!!! And relieved that we didn't have to put off going to kindergarten because she was still in diapers :) You start to worry about these things....

One silly kid

Wow, two posts in one night. Tonight, I'm playing with pictures, which I actually haven't done for a long, long time. Just downloaded Picasa and tried their collage tool. Kind of fun. Viv makes the silliest faces. I can't believe how grown up she seems all of a sudden. And I have to say.... thank goodness for Spring! This winter felt like it would never end.

Blossoms

I took a couple of shots today of myself and Viv. Partly because I don't think I have any of the two of us since she was in the hospital. But also in honor of: 1. Viv's 8 month birthday 2. Me being 1/2 way through pregnancy (note the bump/pooch) 3. The 3 days a year this tree in our front yard is not an eyesore.

One of my many fears

Clarification

Rob says the question I actually needed to ask was "Would you wear that shirt out of the house?" then he amended it to "Would you make this a wardrobe staple?"

Also, FYI, I am mortified at how many people have been reading the beaver post to their husbands! I was only picturing women as my audience. But I'm glad people find it funny and not just offensive :)

Informal survey

For $2.24 would you keep this shirt? Be honest now, this is very important :)

The Urologist's Wife

The girls and I were at a Match Day party a couple of weeks ago, and one of the other residents asked where Rob was. I (kind of sarcastically) said I would give him 3 guesses. He aptly replied, "Oh, he's looking at people's private parts." So there it is, laid bare! I usually don't think about the fact that that is what my husband does all day, and he himself has acknowledged that it is pretty surreal. But it's true.

So I know people are wondering why anyone would choose Urology. Well, once you get over the whole "looking at private parts" thing, it's really a great field. Considering the other bodily functions that doctors have to deal with, urine is really not that bad. I mean, it's really just yellow water. Warm yellow water :) Patients are generally healthy, with a specific problem that the doc can fix and send them on their very merry and grateful way. And Rob really has the right personality for making people feel comfortable when dealing with potentially embarassing problems. After residency, the lifestyle will be good. And he likes that his time will be pretty well divided between seeing people in his office and going to the operating room. So now you know!

And this brings me to a point. Somehow, we got talking about "private parts" (it happens pretty often around here), and Rob informed me of what I think is a wacky trend. This is probably just revealing myself for the true fuddy-duddy that I am--you, my informed and hip readers, may have already embraced this trend. Apparently, all the young ladies these days are shaving "down there". Not just the bikini shave, but BALD. Beaver free. I think this is sick and wrong, not to mention bizarre. The only reasons I can think of to do this are bad ones. So have I been living under a rock, or is this normal? Just wondering.

False Alarm!

Whew! Viv's x-rays came back normal, so no gigantic cast for her! We thought she might have a dislocated hip, which sometimes happens just from a baby's position in the womb or being born breech. I'm so glad this is something we don't have to deal with right now!

Waiting

Today Viv had her well-baby check. Too bad it was scheduled for Friday, because now I have to wait all weekend to find out if she has to get one of these:

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Fragile

Last week was full of bad news. Lots of people around us seem to have spent time in the hospital last week. One friend is still there, and has had some close calls. Most shockingly, we received news that Vivian's birthmother passed away, apparently from complications from an outpatient surgery. She was so young, and apparently healthy, and seemed to be recovering normally. It has been a reminder that life is fragile, that it can change in an instant. A reminder to count my blessings. And that you never know when you will have your last chance to say thank you.

The nitty gritty

So, now the word is out, here are some of the thrilling details :) My due date is Sept. 13, which is about 2 weeks after Viv's first birthday. Thank goodness they're at least a year apart! I have been really lucky--I haven't been sick at all. Really tired, and I have had other stomach issues, but I will take pretty much anything over morning sickness! Also, I have bad zits. In fact, there's a huge one on my chin that has been there for at least 6 weeks. And I don't know if this is pregnancy related, but I am SOOOOO sick of poop! I swear my children have some kind of crazy superpower that shoots all of it out of their diapers immediately. I thought I was used to all the diaper changing, but suddenly I find it really disgusting again. Which brings me to my worst symptom: permanent PMS, which has made this a really bad time to try to potty train! But I think I'm getting a little better.

Mostly, I'm just still getting used to the whole idea, slowly coming out of denial. It seems very unreal, even though we've seen the heartbeat and all. I am excited, but mostly very very aware that I have a big challenge coming! I should be used to not having any control over when children join our family, but this hit me so out of the blue! When I think about how fun it will be a few years down the road when they can all walk and feed themselves and sleep through the night, then I get excited ;)

The other strange thing is people's reactions. Like just yesterday I went to my OB appointment, and I took Viv with me. We were in waiting room, and I was holding Viv. The nurse called my name, I looked right at her and acknowledged I had heard her, then started gathering my bags, blankets, bottles, etc. She said, "Julie Jackson?" I said yes. She was like, "Oh, usually people with tiny babies aren't here for .... you know." Ummmm, yes, I know.

Unexpected

Used Kia mini-van: $12,000

Crib from Craigslist: $30

New summer wardrobe: $300

Becoming the Jackson 5 this September: priceless

and terrifying.

the Joys of Room sharing

Rob woke up a couple of mornings ago at 5 AM. As he walked down the hall he noticed light coming from under the girls' door. When he went in to see what was going on, he found Grace sitting on the floor reading a book to Vivian. When he asked Grace what was going on, her reply was simply, "Her woke up!"

My little Tracy Turnblat

Grace loves the movie Hairspray. I know, it's not exactly your normal 2-yr old kind of movie. But she loves the big musical numbers and the twirly dresses. In fact, now she won't let either of us twirl unless we are wearing dresses. She goes around the house singing "Good morning, Baltimore" and she's actually pretty good :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjss4dErY9c

So the other day her friend was here, and I let them play in the basement for a few minutes while I was cooking dinner. Rob got home and went down to get them, and told me they had been down there playing with hairspray. I don't have any hairspray downstairs.... I was sure he must be mistaken.

But sure enough, when Grace came up her hair was all soggy with something. The smell clued me in that she had found a bottle of starch downstairs, and yes, the bottle does look just like Ultraclutch hairspray! What a goofy kid. I wish I had been there to see her reenactment of the movie that I am sure must have gone along with the "hairspray."

Like waiting for Christmas

There was this pizza place in Iowa City called Old Chicago. We didn't go there very often, but for the last couple of weeks I have been dying for some warm cheesy breadsticks dipped in their amazing marinara sauce. So I got on their website, and it turns out there's a restaurant just 40 minutes away! And Rob is off this Saturday! Seriously, the moments are passing so slowly I can hardly stand it.

More "funny Grace" moments

Or, at least ways that Grace talks funny. Right now for some reason she is really enunciating her Ts. Also putting them into words that are actually Ds. Like "Datty" for Daddy (which is driving Rob nuts for some reason). Or, Homer is Butty. Other funny words include musTard, everybuTy, and beTTer.

Another little Grace quirk is putting Ps at the beginning of random words. Like Pabana = banana. Pabloon=balloon. Pabrella=umberlla. Pertucky=Kentucky, and so for some reason that makes Pertexas=Texas.

Funny girl.

Big Sis

I got to see Grace's protective side the other day when I took the girls to the dentist with me. My vision was that Viv would sleep and Grace would watch a movie in the corner while I got my teeth cleaned, but of course, I must have been hallucinating! Viv was sleeping soundly when we got there, but started to cry after I'd been in the chair 5 minutes, and Grace developed a sudden and inexplicable aversion to the DVD player. So a kind grandma/receptionist came and got Viv, and took the girls out to the waiting area. After a while, Grace came back into the room, saying heartbreakingly, "I lost my baby sister!" The hygenist told her that Carol had her and must have gone back behind the counter. (I couldn't say anything because her hands were still in my mouth). So I hear Grace go back out, calling bravely, "Carol, Carol, Carol!" Finally the hygenist called out to Carol that Grace was looking for her, and I heard her and Grace find each other. Then plucky little Grace said, "I need my baby sister." They got it all worked out, and Grace ended up spending the rest of the cleaning on my stomach watching what was going on in my mouth. I was amazed and touched by Grace's love for the sister she usually torments all day. It was just so sweet I had to write it down.

Viv in real life

If I ever get around to making actual New Year's resolutions, I think one of them will be to post more often, so I can count my blog as journal-keeping :)

Here is Viv giving me a big smile and talking a bit. Please pretend like the adult is someone you don't know, I think I sound like a complete dork. But Viv is adorable, so I'm posting it anyway! I was trying to get her to blow raspberries, but didn't have any luck. Maybe next time!

Pictures not taken

Sometimes I think I should take pictures of the bad times, because those are part of life, too, and really those are the stories we tell and re-tell that seem so funny looking back. Like, on our recent trip to Utah on the Saturday before Christmas, when everyone else in the Western World was also going home for Christmas, and Chicago was having bad weather as usual. (I hate Chicago.) The trip that was supposed to start at 8:30 Saturday morning in Detroit and end at noon in Salt Lake City. But instead ended at about 11:00 Sunday morning, after an unexpected mini-vacation in Phoenix with no luggage. These are the pictures I would have taken:

1. Us sitting and sitting in Detroit, waiting for fog to lift in Chicago so we could get on the plane.
2. Us sitting and sitting on the ground in the airplane while they put in extra gas, just in case the fog came back. Couldn't they have thought of that while we were sitting and sitting inside?
3. Grace getting motion sick on the very first leg of the flight. She actually thought it was cool: "I spit up in a bag!" Thank heavens Rob was quick with that bag!
4. The TV screen in Chicago where our connecting flight should have been listed, but wasn't because it had just left 5 minutes ago without us.
5. Me sitting on the floor in the middle of the hall at Midway, crushed in by other refugees sitting on the floor, feeding Viv.
6. The genius behind the Southwest counter who told us we should try going through Phoenix.
7. Me covered in Diet Coke, all down my white t-shirt, and soaked through my jeans.
8. The person behind the southwest counter in Phoenix who told us that every flight to SLC was already overbooked by about 8 people, so we had a snowball's chance of getting on since we were now stand-by passengers.
9. The last plane for SLC, leaving without us. Except it was dark by then, so the picture wouldn't show much.
10. The kind lady who took pity on us and told us SW would pay for our hotel room.
11. The amazingly awesome room service food at the Phoenix Airport Sheraton. I would stay at that place again in a heartbeat!
12. The kind shuttle man who took Rob to the grocery store for formula, wipes (see #3), toothbrushes, deodorant, etc. since our luggage was patiently waiting for us in SLC.
13. Viv sleeping propped up in an armchair with some pillows and crib bumpers.
14. And I'm sure there would be a priceless picture of us getting off the plane in SLC Sunday morning, with no makeup and nasty greasy hair and 2 children who looked like ragamuffins, but grinning from ear to ear.

So I don't think we'll be flying home for Christmas ever again, but in the end it was one of those days that makes you count your blessings. The girls were SO GOOD all day long. Grace thought the whole thing was a grand adventure, and Viv was just easy going. She probably loved being held all day (since we checked the stroller through, too--duh). And people were very kind to us everywhere, so that was a huge booster.

I'll try to post again soon about the rest of the holidays. For now, Happy 2008.