Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Horror stories wanted


This summer a bunch of friends have been having babies and sending out pictures. I have been alarmed to notice that immediately after giving birth, they are holding full-grown human babies. I am getting freaked out by the prospect of pushing my own full-grown baby out of what I can't help but notice is a fairly small opening in my body. I have never been in excruciating pain, even for a few minutes, and I'm not sure I'm ready for hours/days of it. In fact, I hear that Braxton-Hicks contractions aren't painful, but I kind of stop and go "ouch", so apparently I am a BIG WIMP, and that kind of worries me.

I took a childbirth class, and it actually made me more confused about how I want to give birth. Basically, what I got out of it was this:


  • moan/grunt primally
  • just tell yourself you can do it
  • your body knows what it's doing
  • giving birth laying on your back in a bed with lots of wires and tubes going in and out of you is the worst possible position
  • vaccines and circumcision are evil

And we watched a couple of disturbing videos.

I have never felt the need to have an unmedicated birth, but actually some of what they were saying made sense. Something about letting my body do its thing, about being able to get up and move, and lie in a tub or do what feels best was appealing. I don't really like the idea of being stuck in a bed with a huge needle in my spine. But I have a feeling that you really have to be 100%, fully and totally committed to unmedicated birth to not end up having an epidural. And I am not 100% committed. So, here is the big question: If I am pretty sure that I will end up having an epidural anyway, is there any point to trying to hold out for a while without?

I have also heard that you shouldn't listen to other people's horror stories, but I want to be prepared for the worst. So far, I am expecting to be a week overdue, to be in labor for 3 days, then push for 6 hours, only to find out that this baby inherited Rob's gargantuan cranium and it can't even be vacuumed out, so they will have to slice me open and pull him all the way back out the other way. And I hear back labor is bad, so I'm expecting that, too. Oh, and horrible tears in all directions, and black eyes from pushing so hard.

So please send your wisdom, advice, and horror stories to help me as I wander into this great unknown!

12 comments:

Katherine said...

You crack me up!
I took childbirth class for #1 and I, too, thought that walking or being in a jacuzzi would be a good idea to "hold off" the epidural. Neither were relaxing. Here's the truth - labor is painful and contractions hurt.
Get the medicine. I loved my labors and didn't even mind Jake's 14 hours because I was medicated and in a room with my husband awaiting the greatest miracle there is. I have never understood wanting to go through the pain when you can go through the whole process comfortably and enjoy it.
Good luck! You'll do awesome!

Jenni said...

As the wife of an anesthesiologist, I get to hear about all the stories of women who swear they are going to have a natural birth and end up asking for an epidural when it's too late (i.e. they are now thrashing around and no sane anesthesiologist would dare put a needle in a moving target.) He says that the vast majority of those women who say they won't get an epidural (and even refuse to sign a release form in case they decide to) end up asking for one--something over 75%. So, if you're not 100% committed, I think you're going to probably change your mind midway through. I didn't have an epidural, but I had a spinal for my c-section, which is very similar. It really felt like nothing compared to the contractions, and I was only 4 cm along when I had to go for the c-section (so I had a lot more contracting to go.)

I can't give you any horror stories of normal deliveries, but I can tell you that having a c-section is not the end of the world. It's not pleasant, but I think anyone who thinks childbirth is pleasant experience is crazy. It's the end result that makes it worth doing.

Good luck! You're going to do great.

Anonymous said...

My easiest birth and recovery was for my third. 2 hours from start to finish. Born in the car while I was sitting up. No needles, no drugs, no husband. I was able to walk away as soon as the cord was cut. If you need a refresher on the story, here is the link.

Go to anythingbutbland.org. click on family journal then go to archive. Look for the title "The Wait is over and it only took two hours

Jessie Riley said...

I'm the kind of person who SCOFFS at people who DON'T get the epidural... I say things like. Would you go to the dentist and get a tooth pulled without getting pain medicine?!?

Aspen's labor was LONG, but I feel the same as someone said before me. Laying in the bed waiting for the baby to come... and being COMFORTABLE, sounds A LOT better to me than feeling the way I felt on the way to the hospital {only to a 3, I cannot imagine the horrific pain that awaited me} I really can't imagine feeling that way ALL DAY LONG and TRYING {and failing} to FEEL GOOD!

BUT. I also know MANY people who would feel completely opposite of me.

OH... and LABOR is amazing. and the best part for me. It ends the NINE MONTHS of sickness and you finally have SOMETHING amazing to show for all of work!

There's my 2 cents! Good luck with everything. Can't wait to see this little guy!

Julie said...

You are so funny Julie! I have to second the comment of the other anesthesiologist wife. If you think you MIGHT want it...just get it, because you might miss the opportunity if you get too far along w/o it. You can always have them keep it on a low dose if you think you aren't "experiencing" enough. :)

Side note - after having a semi-horror story of 2 days of non-progressive labor due to a sideways baby, which led to c-section anyway, I definitely recommend the meds. I was fatigued from the contractions, but I'm so glad I hadn't FELT all of them! You won't care about any of it when a healthy baby shows up! I can't wait to see pictures.

Marie said...

So...will I be totally unpopular if I say "Go Natural Girl!"

I've delivered 2 with an epideral and 2 without and all natural is hands down the way to go. It moves along twice as fast, you feel in control of the pushing and you can actually get out of bed and move around. After my 2 that were delivered without the epideral, I had such an adrenaline rush I felt like I could have run a marathon- but was grateful to be able to get up and take a shower, at least.

If you are screaming or moaning or writhing in pain you are totally doing it wrong! It is all about finding a mental "happy place"- something I totally know you are capable of!

In the end, you get a baby which ever way you do it- you'll know what's best for you (but don't be afraid of going for natural!)

Camille said...

I love your post. You are so funny. I have always heard that the recovery is better from going natural so I have been tempted as well. But I think you are right if you don't decide 100 percent before hand you will get one. I got one both times and loved it but there is still a small, very small, part of me that wonders what it would be like to go natural.
also. . . a side note . . . both of my children have HUGE heads and came out just fine - no suction cup or c section.

[AnnieR] said...

Epidural. Epidural. Epidural.

Jackee said...

Happy anniversary! Nine years, can you believe it?

And you don't want my birthing horror stories. Really.

But take the epidural. If they're doing it right, you can get up and move around almost immediately.

Jackee said...

^ I mean immediately AFTER he's born. :)

Melody said...

I say Amen to Marie's comment. I also had 2 with and 2 without. I felt a million times better 'after' when I went natural. You're right, you do have to be committed. I told Kirt beforehand to not let me give in and he's going to have to be a heck of a support person--which he was or I would've caved and missed out on a neat experience. But you have to do what's best for Mom and baby in the long run and that results in a succesfull birthing experience no matter what you choose. And yes, going natural there is a moment (seems like foreverr, really only minutes) where I was wanting to give up and literally wanting to walk out of the hospital and away from the pain, but if you've got good support people(hubby, staff) they'll get you through it. And trust me I think I'm the biggest wimp, so if I can do it--you can,too. :)

Serena said...

So every situation/person is different (don't you love how often you hear that through the pregnancy?) and I think that if I hadn't needed to get induced I could've gone natural rather than asking for an epidural at 7 cm. My body was just not cooperating, even though I wanted a natural birth. I will try again next time :) What I hated was the catheter you have to get along with an epidural...but maybe my nurse was just rough. Oh, this might be too much info but be prepared for the rhoids if you haven't already. I wouldn't change anything if I had it to do over again. Different thresholds to different pains. Oh, here at AF they say that there isn't a deadline for getting the epidural, except maybe once the baby is crowning. Hey they make more money that way :)

You'll do great in whatever you decide.