Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Memo to Bert

Dear Bert,
I know I've been sending you "stay in there" vibes for the last 9 months. But I've had a change of heart. Please come out now. You are enormous, and therefore, so am I. You "dropped", which was nice, but now you have filled up all that extra space and your feet are clear above my ribcage. If you stay in there much longer, you will be kicking me in the chin.

I don't know if this is completely your fault, but my kankles have progressed to full-on walrus feet, and I can't even wear my flip-flops anymore. Well, I do wear them because I can't go barefoot to the store, but when I take them off, there are big flip-flop shaped dents in my feet. What with the walrus feet and the attractive waddling, I hope I don't get put in the zoo. Also my hands are so swollen I can't straighten my fingers and they are all numb.

I know my hormones won't be back to normal for a while, but I think hormones plus discomfort plus fear have turned me into an unpredictable volcano. Your sister Grace will especially like having her mother back. That poor girl bears the brunt of Mount Mama's explosions. Plus she is really excited to meet you. If you come out soon, I will promise not to let her name you (how's that for motivation?). Otherwise, you might be named George, Scooby Doo, Gigham, or some other string of sounds that I can't reproduce. Lucky for you she has given up on the name Ian.

So, please Bert, make your grand entrance (or is that an exit?) and make it soon!

Love,
Mount Mama

8 comments:

Veronica Reeve said...

Oooh good luck!! Can't wait to hear how things go! What's wrong with Ian? That's my nephews name (awkward silence). Ha ha ha!

Katherine said...

Okay - so I had numb hands and couldn't straighten my fingers and when the numbness went away, they just HURT! I've never had anyone else admit to that. So does that mean it's genetic? It's been 10 weeks and the feeling is back but I still can't wear my wedding ring and they still ache in the morning. The doctor says give it four months.
Also me feet had the same symptoms, but have gotten WORSE since having the baby. They HURT all day long and even wake me at night.
I'm not trying to steal the show, but you have to communicate with me and let me know if yours goes away right away or if it lingers. Also, what does your doctor husband say about this?

Good luck on the forthcoming arrival. I actually hoped your post was the announcement when I saw your name in my reader...so I'm plugging for you :)

Julie M. said...

Man, I feel for ya! Is it still hot in MI? I hope he comes soon, too! That was a great post!

Christina said...

You crack me up! I hope Bert comes soon also, I can't wait to meet the little guy. Hang in there, it will end, I promise!

Jessie Riley said...

OH. The joys of the LAST MONTH...

can't wait to see this little guy...

[alisar] said...

In my last few weeks of pregnancy with EV, I sat down on the toilet, and it actually pulled away from the wall! And I couldn't walk around the kitchen without listening to my stove top vibrate.
The good news, and this is probably hard to believe in your current condition, is that things mostly go back to normal.
Hang in there. Cannot wait to hear the good news!!

RicAnn said...

That is too funny! Swollen body parts are the worst :) Hopefully the little guy will be here shortly. GOOD LUCK!

Jackee said...

I'm just glad we don't live in pioneer times--then it would be really bad. What's your due date? I forget...