Cats

We bottled peaches this year, and to get the peaches, we drove out to a farm in the middle of farm country. They had like 4 litters of kittens running around. Grace loved it, so I let her run around outside while I went into the house to pay for the peaches, leaving the van door open so Viv and Sam could enjoy the fresh country air. When I got out of the house, I heard Sam crying, but his door was not the open one, so I couldn't see why. Grace's explanation was, "A cat got in the car." When I got to him, he had THREE cats crawling around on his tiny little lap. Which might explain his reaction here, (although he was genuinely excited about the cats):



Vivian, on the other hand, is terrified of anything with fur. Or feathers. Poor girl.

Talking About Adoption

I think most people who read this know that we adopted Grace and Vivian. We were very blessed with both of our adoptions to have very positive experiences. Now I work at LDS Family Services as a social worker, helping adoptive couples go through the process. It's a great job, I get to meet amazing people, and I hope that I can share my perspective with them. Adoption is such a blessing for us, for many birthmothers, and many other families.

LDS FS recently launched a brand new adoption website which is SO much better than the old one! It's still at http://www.itsaboutlove.org/. Check it out if you're bored.

There is a page there about positive adoption language that I wanted to copy here. (I can't figure out how to get Blogger to format it normally, so I guess you'll have to scroll down-- sorry!) I am not easily offended when talking about adoption. I know people are generally doing their best to be sensitive, but sometimes might not know the right way to phrase things. I hope people feel comfortable asking about adoption if they have questions, because we are always happy to talk about it, non-"PC" language or not. I'm hoping this list of the currently "correct" terminology will help people feel more comfortable!

The one that I feel most strongly about is the term "give up for adoption." This is pretty common, you hear it all the time. But it does send a subtle message to a child who was adopted that her birthmother didn't want her. We feel very strongly that placing a child for adoption is an act of immense courage and love! We're so grateful for Vivian and Grace's birthparents and their families and their trust in us. I think if we could eliminate the stigma surrounding placing a child for adoption, the world would be a better place. And now I'll get off my soapbox. Oh, and if you know anyone who is considering placing a child for adoption, I know a few wonderful families. (Though not us at the moment:) )

Negative Terms	Preferred Terms
Gave up her child for adoption	Placed her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent	Birth parent, biological parent
Adoptive parent	Parent
His adopted child	His child
Illegitimate	Born to unmarried parents
Adoptee	Child who was adopted
To keep	To parent
Adoptable child; available child	Waiting child
Foreign adoption	International adoption
Track down parents	Search
Unwanted child	Child placed for adoption
Is adopted	Was adopted

A touch of PTSD

Vivian had a rather traumatic experience over Labor Day. We went out to eat, and a nice employee made her a balloon out of a latex glove, you know the kind. Vivian enjoyed carrying the balloon around, and it was a beautiful day so we took our lunch out to the outdoor dining area. You can see where this is going. We made it through most of lunch with the balloon, thanks to a couple of courageous saves by me and my mad hops. But finally, the balloon escaped and floated up to the sky, looking back down at us with that silly face. Vivian was pretty broken up at the time and cried for quite a while. Which is pretty normal, I think. But she is STILL talking about it.

It is actually so cute in a heartbreaking kind of way. She says, "Boon...... sky....... boon...... sky" with her lower lip sticking clear out.