LDS FS recently launched a brand new adoption website which is SO much better than the old one! It's still at http://www.itsaboutlove.org/. Check it out if you're bored.
There is a page there about positive adoption language that I wanted to copy here. (I can't figure out how to get Blogger to format it normally, so I guess you'll have to scroll down-- sorry!) I am not easily offended when talking about adoption. I know people are generally doing their best to be sensitive, but sometimes might not know the right way to phrase things. I hope people feel comfortable asking about adoption if they have questions, because we are always happy to talk about it, non-"PC" language or not. I'm hoping this list of the currently "correct" terminology will help people feel more comfortable!
The one that I feel most strongly about is the term "give up for adoption." This is pretty common, you hear it all the time. But it does send a subtle message to a child who was adopted that her birthmother didn't want her. We feel very strongly that placing a child for adoption is an act of immense courage and love! We're so grateful for Vivian and Grace's birthparents and their families and their trust in us. I think if we could eliminate the stigma surrounding placing a child for adoption, the world would be a better place. And now I'll get off my soapbox. Oh, and if you know anyone who is considering placing a child for adoption, I know a few wonderful families. (Though not us at the moment:) )
Negative Terms | Preferred Terms |
Gave up her child for adoption | Placed her child for adoption |
Real parent; natural parent | Birth parent, biological parent |
Adoptive parent | Parent |
His adopted child | His child |
Illegitimate | Born to unmarried parents |
Adoptee | Child who was adopted |
To keep | To parent |
Adoptable child; available child | Waiting child |
Foreign adoption | International adoption |
Track down parents | Search |
Unwanted child | Child placed for adoption |
Is adopted | Was adopted |
5 comments:
Oh I'm so glad you posted this. These are great things to know. I had an experience a couple of weeks ago that I actually wanted to ask you about having to do with this very subject. I'll be emailing you.
Thanks for posting this. I love my boys and am thankful we get to be there parents. We are also glad to know your family. We hope the kids will be able to be friends for a long time. Hopefully you can be our caseworker when we start the process next year.
It's always good to educate people on things! You'd be the social worker I'd want to work with!
Nice post and great to know the best way to say things. Makes a lot of sense. Miss your sweet girls.
What a perfect job for you as someone who has walked that road before. These are great tips and I appreciate them! Especially the "give up for adoption" one. I'm guilty of that one for sure, knowing nothing better to use! I'll be happy to replace it with something more positive! Thanks!
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